ok you guys but like
The idea that 616 Steve and Tony fight ALL the time, or just as much as they’re not fighting with each other is…really not supported by canon.
There is a lot, and I mean a LOT of canon regarding their friendship before civil war. And there’ve been other times they fought and were really at odds and it strained their friendship. But the majority of the time, they work well together and if they disagree, it’s usually avengers-related and a side-effect of having very different approaches to solving problems. This is part of what makes them effective teammates and they know it, they bring very different things to the table. It’s not very often it becomes a Big Thing.
We see/notice more of their conflict because from a narrative standpoint it’s more interesting. People agreeing on a plan or a philosophy just…really isn’t that exciting. And when it happens it goes mostly unremarked, because that is the norm. There’s a reason they’ve been on teams together, to great success, so many times over the years. It. Works.
The entire reason them being at odds, REALLY at odds, is a big deal, is because that’s not usual for them. Even as recently as the beginning of Avengers vol 4, we see Tony is reticent about working together because “we don’t agree on…just about anything anymore”. Constant conflict is not normal for their friendship. (And yes, this is also Tony having caught up on the events he is missing from his memory and giving Steve an out on working together, if he wants it.)
If they were like that ALL the time, they’d both find it exhausting and might not remain as close as they do. However, some disagreement is expected and even desired in their friendship. If we look at the other close relationships they’ve cultivated (Sam, Sharon, Rhodey, Pepper, etc etc), we see the relationships they value most are those with people willing to push back and disagree openly with them. They don’t NEED to be on the same page at all times to value and respect one another.
Even with all the friction and frustration, when they do have a major falling out, they work hard to put their friendship back together because it’s important to them.
(Cap and Iron Man Annual 1998)